Thoroughly, Cheerfully Miserable

I was wondering the other day about creative insults, and the ways people use them as a language among friends. It would probably be tricky to have a story about finding the most creative insult (wouldn't it just be obvious which the "right" answer was?), but maybe choosing the one that's most appropriate in some way?

Or maybe what details you insult shows what you're paying attention to, and guides the story that way?

Then today I re-read Ursula Vernon's novella Nine Goblins, which puts it better than I could. Let me quote:

Wherever a goblin happens to live, he complains about it constantly. This is actually a sign of affection. A desert goblin will complain endlessly about the beastly heat and the dreadful dryness and the spiky cactus. He will show you how his sunburn is peeling and the place where the rattlesnake bit him and the place where he bit the rattlesnake. He will be thoroughly, cheerfully, miserable.

If you took him away from the desert, he would be lost. He wouldn't know what to complain about. He might make a few half-hearted attempts, but he would eventually lapse into confused silence, and return as quickly as possible to the desert he loves. Complaining is how he shows he's paying attention to all the little nuances of his home.

This is basically goblin psychology in a nutshell. Goblin cooks wait in anticipation for the rude comments about the flavor. A goblin courting the lady goblin of his dreams will point out the new lumps and splotches on her skin and ask if she's been sick lately because she looks off color and hey, is that a tick behind her left ear?

Goblins are in many ways stoics. When they're genuinely unhappy, they shut up and put their heads down and just try to blunder through. (Goblin divorces are notable for their lack of screaming.) If a goblin eats something without complaining, it was so bad he doesn't want to dwell on it. (Gruel among the Nineteenth Infantry had recently reached this point, and breakfast had become a silent, glum affair.)

A goblin trying to make the best of things is a very tragic sight indeed.

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